With apologies to the chair and the members of the IASB. And the IFRIC. And St Nicholas. And his reindeer…

15 December 2016

Twas the night before Board week, when all through the land 

No accountants were busy, no one lifting a hand; 

The ledgers were stowed in the system with care, 

In hopes that convergence soon would be right there; 

The accountants were nestled all snug in their beds; 

While visions of standards danced round in their heads;

And with the standards sat open, there on my lap, 

I’d just settled down to peruse IASB gaap 

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, 

I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter. 

Away to the window I flew like a flash, 

Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash. 

When what to my wondering eyes came into view, 

But the whole IASB and the full IFRIC too, 

More rapid than eagles his coursers they came, 

And Hans whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:

"Now, Gomes! now, Cooper! now Susie and Gary! 

On, Ochi! on, Scott! on, Zhang and on Mary

Our plan must be delivered, despite its great weight

Or held for sale and disc ops might be your own fate

Insurance, insurance and then of course FICE! 

Some concepts we must have on this roll of the dice" 

So off to the boardroom the board members they flew 

With a sleigh full of Work Plans, and the staff were there too—

As I drew in my head, and was turning around, 

Down the corridor Hans came with a theatrical bound. 

A bundle of documents he had flung on his back, 

And he looked like a hiker just opening his pack. 

His eyes—how they twinkled! His grammar was taut! 

His papers were terse and with nary a blot! 

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head 

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread; 

He spoke with a rumble, “I’ve brought you a gift,

Merely 4000 pages, through which you should sift

We’ll focus on less, that’s what I’ve now heard,

We’ll do nothing for now on taxes deferred”

At this my eyes glistened and I said with a frown

“I’d prefer you’d abolished them, I’m feeling down”

“Don’t fret young accountant,” he said with some glee,

The “young” lead me to wonder how well he could see,

“The IFRIC will work faster on issues emerging

Not common control though for businesses merging

That one is for me and the whole IASB

We’ll think very hard and then we will see”

“And as I stand here in the finest of raiments

I promise, no tweaking for those share-based payments

“And goodwill?” I asked with some moistening eyes

“A present for all – let it be amortised?

He laughed at my plea and said “Well son, may be,

Once we’ve completed our review of IFRS 3”

He chuckled once more and uttered the threat:

“It’s time for some puns, they’re my worst ones yet”

“The recoverable amount of my sleigh, is it known?

Its, Net Present Value” and I let out a groan.

“And that picture”, he said, “of meat carving, of course

Is Joint operations, with lashings of sauce!”

Lest he say anymore and let weaker gags fly

I asked, “Will you ponder the puts on NCI?”

His smile merely flickered and he said “yes, of course.

Once Insurance is issued to a round of applause.”

I went to say more but he said “No more please-

Consultations are over, so leave me in peace!”

And laying his finger aside of his nose, 

And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose; 

He sprang to his board table, to his team gave a whistle, 

And away they all flew like the down of a thistle. 

But I heard him exclaim, ere they disappeared from sight— 

“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”

This week's bloggers wishing you a Merry Christmas are Mary Dolson and Dave Walters - connect with them on LinkedIn

Comments

On behalf of IASB Chairman Hans Hoogervorst; he said he thought this was 'very funny' and to 'please tell the bloggers at PwC I enjoyed their creativity!'
IFRS Foundation Research Resources team (on behalf of Hans)

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